1:37 A.M.

I'm currrently staying in my parent's bedroom floor, watching some random home shopping channel. Seems like something a 21 year old would do, yeah? No. But lately I have caught a sickness, one that has no symptoms, no physical manifestations and no medicinal cure --melancholia. I feel so lonely, all the time, even when I talk to other people so I tend to remove myself all together because it makes me even more sad that I do not feel the joy other people get from shared experiences. I am empty inside. As if I was carved on the inside, gnawing, eating me from the inside. The worst part is, I look happy but it doesnt reach my core, doesn't change my thoughts nor awareness on how artificial it feels and sometimes I cry without knowing why, without any warning. I still find this so odd because again, I am not sad, I am empty and yet I cry.